Purpose, Lies and Insomnia

I used to struggle with insomnia. I had so much going through my mind –  so many worries and a long to do list that grew with each hour. Then, I gave that all to God. And I slept.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been sleepless again. As I sit here looking at the clock, which reads 2:54 AM, I’m yet again struggling. The enemy has made his way into my thoughts. He’s trying to steal my purpose again. Tonight alone, I’ve had to remind myself numerous times of the purpose I know I was created for. I’ve had to remind myself of the call to ministry I heard more than 20 years ago.

The enemy does not fight fair. I don’t know why that surprises me. It makes me mad, but it shouldn’t surprise me. Tonight, he’s hitting me in my weak spots, and he’s working overtime to cause doubt and distrust within me.

Years ago, I remember hearing Lisa Bevere talk about how the enemy knows who we are even before we know who we are. Yes, the enemy will use your past to make you question who you are, but the attack is actually on who you might be in the future.


That’s good.

For the most part, I’ve moved past my past. God rocked my world when he showed me how my past is powerful when it comes to the calling that has always been on my life. I am to use it for ministering to others. The enemy intended to harm me with my past, but God intends it for good. God brought me to where I am today to bring others to know him (Genesis 50:20).

Lately, God has been moving more than I’ve ever visibly seen him move in my life. As I’ve seen him move, I’ve also felt the immense attacks. I fight silently, but boy do I fight. The hardest fight comes during nights like this when my thoughts are trying to get the best of me.

Have you ever found yourself doubting who you are and if your calling will ever come to fruition? What do you do when that happens?

Take captive the thought and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). You’ve probably heard that scripture before, but what does that actually look like for you?

  1. Recognize these thoughts are lies. How do you know they’re lies? Because they don’t line up with the Word.
  2. Find every scripture you can to counter the lies in your head so that you can then
  3. Surround yourself with these scriptures. The Bible is called a sword for a reason. It’s a weapon. The more you learn how to fight with it, the easier it becomes.
  4. Speak those scriptures over yourself every time these lies come into your head.

You were created for a purpose. Nothing is powerful enough to take that purpose away. Understand that God knitted you together with that very purpose in mind, so he will pave the way and open the doors at just the right time.  Just be patient, and let it happen as it’s supposed to.

I’m writing this to you, but I’m speaking to myself.

We’ve got this. God wouldn’t have brought us to the doorstep of our purpose without letting us open the door and live it out.


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