Marriage and Shoelaces

Have you ever taught anyone to tie their shoes? One thing I learned when I taught my first child to tie his shoes is that it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes a little bit of grace, a whole lot of patience, and great amount of determination from both people to finally get it right.

As a parent, I actually looked to other parents who had successfully made it through that season of their lives to get advice on what to do before I ever attempted to teach him. Together, he and I were able to learn what worked best for him. One day, he finally mastered it, and life was just a little bit easier for both of us. He could put his shoes on and tie them on his own and no longer needed me to do it.

Regardless of how long you’ve been tying your shoes on your own, you don’t need me to tell you that they come untied all too often. I don’t know how many times a day my kids have to stop and tie their shoes again. It seems like it happens for them a little more often than it happens for me, but every once in a while, I find myself stopping because my own have loosened up a bit.

Isn’t it interesting how no matter how long you’ve been tying your own shoes, they just don’t stay that way all day every day?

It’s really not too different from marriage.

Marriage and Shoelaces

Have you ever heard the term “tying the knot” when it comes to being married? Although no one is certain where exactly this saying began, it is said to have originated in the 1200s when weddings consisted of tying and knotting a piece of fabric around the bride and groom’s hands to symbolize the joining together of two people.

Whether it’s tying our shoes or tying the knot for marriage, what if we treated our marriages like we do our shoelaces? What if we didn’t jump right into marriage? What if before we even consider marriage, we seek advice from those who have been married for many years and have wisdom on the subject? What if we enter into marriage with a little bit of grace, a whole lot of patience and a great amount of determination to be successful? What if we take our dating time to learn about what works for one another?

And what if we remember that, just like our shoelaces need to be tied again because they’ve come a little loose, our marriages sometimes need to be tied again to make sure that bond is as strong as it was in the beginning? With our shoes, the more we practice tying them, the less often they come untied. It’s the same with marriage. The more you work at it, the less often you feel like you have to work at it.

Sometimes we double knot our laces when we know we’re going to be extra rough on our shoes that day. In marriage, it might be beneficial to double knot that bond when you’re about to go through something rough.

Whether you’re a teen who isn’t even dating yet or an adult who has been married for years, remember that marriage and shoelaces aren’t all that different from one another. At times, they both find themselves a little looser than they were when they started, and if we don’t fix them soon, they will eventually come untied, and you’ll trip and fall.


This isn’t my first post about shoes and relationships. Check out my first post that was published in a magazine. It’s called Boys and Shoes

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