It seems like every time we turn around, we hear someone who is either searching for or who has found the one. Maybe you yourself are on the lookout, and Valentine’s Day brings out all the sweet sentiments that might even make you think you’ve found the one.
You’ve heard me say time and time again that I believe there is only one purpose for dating – to find the person you’re going to marry. This means you’re wanting to find love, and believe it or not, there’s a scripture specifically written about love.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
1 Corinthians 13:4-6
Two Easy Steps to Find Out if the Love is Real
Step One: First, ask yourself how much love you radiate by simply interchanging the word “love” in this scripture with your name. Here’s an example:
Susie is patient and kind. Susie is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Susie does not demand her own way. She is not irritable, and she keeps no record of being wronged. She does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Are these statements true for you? Likely there is something you can work on. Before you try to find the one, you need to first work on becoming the one yourself. It starts with this scripture right here. Take note of what areas you need to grow in, and start working on growth in yourself.
Step Two: Now, you want to do the same thing with the boy you like. Switch that word “love” again, but this time you’ll use his name.
John is patient and kind. John is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. John does not demand his own way. He is not irritable, and he keeps no record of being wronged. He does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
How do these statements work with him? Keep in mind no one is ever going to be perfect, but you can clearly see where he stands when it comes to this verse.
The absolute most important thing you need to remember is if you don’t fit this scripture, you can decide to work toward growth in each area. If the boy you like doesn’t fit this scripture, you cannot . . . I repeat CAN NOT. . . work toward him growing in this area.
Let me restate this.
You cannot change him. You cannot make him grow. You cannot nag him to change. You cannot “fix” him.
You are not responsible for him or his growth, and you do not have that kind of power to change him. So don’t try.
Instead, give both of you room to grow independently into the person God created you both to be. Don’t stress so much about having a boyfriend. All that will come in the right time. You have so much to do to become the young woman you were made to be.