The Last First Date

Guard your heart above all else,
    for it determines the course of your life.
Proverbs 4:23

Four years ago today I had my last first date. I met him almost one year before, and through our kids and some similar circumstances, we had become the best of friends.

His eventual “I like you,” turned into “I like you a lot,” and “I REALLY like you a lot,” which I must admit was adorable. And eventually I let my walls down (a little), and I agreed to go on a date with him.

The thing he did, though.

Y’all, the thing he did that showed me he was someone special. . . When I did agree to go on a date, he confused me by saying we couldn’t just yet.

Then, he told me why.

He wanted to go to my son to ask if it would be okay with him to ask me on a date. And you know what? My son said he wasn’t sure.

Matthew respected those wishes and talked to him about it for a bit. He left the conversation by saying he wouldn’t ask me until and unless my son was okay with it.

The next day, my son came to me to tell me about the conversation, and we sat down to talk about his hesitation. Come to find out, he didn’t want to tell Matthew “yes” until he knew if I would be okay with it first. Plus I’m sure he had to take it all in because it’s a big thing for a kid to see a parent date someone that isn’t their other parent. He had really come to love Matthew and his family, and after about a week or so, he “gave his blessing.”

We had our first date on June 27, 2014, and I knew on that first date that I would be marrying him. Our relationship was different than any I had in my past. My dating, romantic, lovey-dovey walls were up when I was with him. I was even at the point I wasn’t interested in ever marrying again. The cool thing about that is, with those walls up, we got to know each other. We became great friends, and it was all without the blinders that come with a romantic relationship. It was without the façade we tend to put up when we want to impress the person we’re dating. It was a real and raw friendship. It wasn’t always pretty, but it was genuine.

We sat at the restaurant for 3 hours just talking that night, and then we went to a quiet lounge to talk and dance for a few more hours.  All those walls and thoughts of never binding myself to another person dissipated. I truly had found the one my heart loves (Solomon 3:4), and I knew. Now I call him husband.


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