The Lie of the Broken Family


BROKEN FAMILY, a term I’m not incredibly fond of – at all.

I get it. The label “broken family” means that the family has split into two families. However, I spend most of my days doing everything in my power to give hope to people who are broken because brokenness brings darkness. You see, once someone views himself or herself as being broken, it’s hard for them to truly live life. Most broken people feel as if there’s no purpose for them. Someone has to show them that there is purpose. God created them with that very purpose in mind, and they are the only ones who can live out their God-given purpose.

But in order to do that, the person must allow God to fix what is broken.

This brings to mind that special coffee cup. You know the one I’m talking about. It’s the coffee cup – the one you find yourself pushing past other cups just to grab it because it’s your absolute favorite. I’ve seen how some of those have been broken a time or two, and in some cases they’ve even been pieced back together like a puzzle and super glued to stay intact.

That may work for a while, but I wonder how long that glue will actually last? The biggest problem I foresee is that your coffee is going to eventually be leaking out of the cracks. It may barely be noticeable for a while. It will still be able to serve its purpose but not at the full capacity because it will be losing some of those important contents until one day it explodes because it can’t hold up to the pressure of the hot coffee inside. It can’t stand up to the pressures of living out its very purpose for being . . . all because it wasn’t adequately fixed.

So many of us spend much of our time working desperately to fix what is broken only to turn around and see there’s still a “leak” from the broken pieces not fitting perfectly together. We may even find there’s a “new” area that’s broken, so we have to tend to it . . . with one hand . . . while trying to hold the other hand over the original leak.

Do you have a mental image of this?

How far can you stretch? How long can you hold that position? And what happens when another crack begins to form?

We can’t fix our brokenness on our own. Instead, we only exhaust ourselves and find that all of our time and focus has been spent on keeping ourselves from appearing broken. We have very little time and energy to focus on others, and we are unable to fully live out our purpose.

But What Does This Have to Do With a Broken Family?

I have remarried, and together we have 4 kids. All 4 of those kids also have another home with their other parent. However, I refuse to tell them they are from a broken home or are in any way broken.

Sure, that’s what people call it when there’s been a divorce or separation of the two parents, but we are NOT broken! God has taken our brokenness and made it new. We are not the same as we used to be before divorce, but we are not broken, and I want to speak life into my husband, my home, and my children. Telling them they are a part of a broken home does not speak life.

We have different struggles than a family who hasn’t divorced, but we are not broken.

We are light (Matt 5:15-16)
We are chosen (1 Pet 2:9)
We are loved (John 3:16)
We are made new (2 Cor 5:17)

WE ARE WHOLE (Col. 2:10)

The label BROKEN FAMILY is not one I will speak over any other family, and I’m certainly not receiving it when it’s being spoken over mine. We have a purpose, and our family is going to impact the lives of others! We may have been broken in the past, but we are broken no more, and we are God’s beautiful masterpiece. . . Nothing less.


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