Well, we’ve been praying for something for over a month, and we watched things fall into place so quickly and easily as we prayed and fasted over it all. It was pretty awesome to see how perfectly things were happening.
Last week, though, we got a call that brought us to a complete standstill. It shook our faith a little, but we prayed and fasted with even more intensity. I had a dream last week about being more specific and confident in my prayers, so I started praying with more confidence and with specific details. I’ve never prayed for a legitimate miracle before, but I spent the past week praying for one because I knew without it, that standstill would not be temporary.
Maybe he’s working on the miracle but in a different way. It’s interesting because in my prayers I actually asked for things to happen in a way that no one can explain, and I can’t deny that’s happening right now. In fact, an email we received yesterday contained the sentence, “There are many unexplainable twists here.” Of everything she said, this sentence stood out to me because I recognized almost those exact words I had prayed. I had prayed for something no one can explain to happen. It confuses me, though, because something definitely happened that no one can explain, but the outcome of it means we no longer have what we had been praying and fasting for. I’ve even questioned how things turned around so abruptly and right at the last minute before actually taking hold of that thing we had been praying for. I can only trust that somehow God is answering my prayer in an obviously different way, but I can’t pretend I’m not filled with negative emotions about it.
Last weekend, our pastor preached a message called “Dream Again.” It was such perfect timing in one area of my life, but tonight it speaks to me in a completely different way.
“The miracle is dependent on the vessel.” Although the message was more about the dreams and passions God gave us to spread his love and his word to others, tonight I hear something else.
Matthew and I are the vessels. We have prayed for a miracle. First, we have to ask ourselves if we’ve thoroughly evaluated the vessels. What type of faith have we carried? Did we truly take our hands off of the process and allow God to work uninterrupted?
Then, we have to remind ourselves that God’s perspective is much greater than ours is, and maybe a different kind of miracle will come of this. Maybe we’re being protected, or maybe there’s something even bigger and better he has in mind. Either way, we are not to give up our dream. The particular dream we were praying for has passed us, but we can continue to dream in this particular area of our lives, and I have no doubt God will give us the opportunity to live out that dream.
So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. 1 Peter 1:6-8
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:20
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28