Expectations: The Relationship Killer?

Expectations – Better known as The Planned Resentment according to Pastor Doug Walker. Have expectations taken a toll on your life? Expectations aren’t bad, but are they realistic?

Misty Gatlin Fitch

courtesy of Theschoolphilly.com

Expectations: The Relationship Killer?


Lately, I’ve been listening to people talk about expectations they have for their friends or significant other.  My social networking feeds are filled with hurt friends and scorned lovers.  Most of the time the authors of the posts don’t even realize they had expectations that weren’t being met ultimately causing the demise of the relationship.

Let me be honest here.  I am totally guilty of this. Why is that so difficult to admit?  And where do these expectations come from?

Of course, we can blame it on growing up with Cinderella and Prince Charming or even the story of Shrek and Princess Fiona, who were able to change one another for the better, but take a look at everything we take in as we read books or watch on TV. 

I’ll Be There for You

One of my very favorite shows to watch is Friends. …

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Improve Your Day in 1 Easy Step

©Fearfully Made Ministries, LLC 2014

©Fearfully Made Ministries, LLC 2014


I have been dreading today ever since the beginning of June.  Our summers seem to be getting shorter and shorter, and this one has been no different.  You see, during the summers, I am lucky enough to be able to spend every day with my kids.  This makes it difficult to end the summer and begin a new school year.

This summer, we spent some days doing absolutely nothing other than snuggling on the couch and watching tv.  Some days were spent mostly staying indoors cleaning.  Some days we ran errands and didn’t have enough time to play together.  Some days we spent playing together for hours and ended with snuggles.  Many mornings began with my kids climbing into my bed to watch tv while I caught myself a few times dozing back into dreamland.

Nothing this summer was extravagant or out of the ordinary; we didn’t take a wonderful beach vacation, but these days were all incredibly special to me.  What made them so special?  Those moments were all spent with my kids.  Even when we weren’t playing or actively engaging in a deep, meaningful conversation, we were together, and that is one of the most special things to me.  I love my job, but I absolutely did not want to go back to school today.

I was sad as today drew closer, and on my way to school this morning, I fought tears.  Then, I remembered something I learned last year from a student in one of my classes.  I think this one girl somehow taught me more than I taught her!  One day, she had written about how her day had been so bad, and when that happens, she writes 10 things she’s thankful for – ways her life is blessed.  I decided to do this very thing on the rest of my drive to work.  I have many things to be thankful for, but I wanted to focus on the day ahead and change the complaints I had been making into blessings.

Today I Am Thankful Because . . .

  1. I have a job.
  2. I have a job that allows me to have summers and other long breaks to spend with my kids.
  3. I have a job I absolutely love.
  4. I work with wonderful people who have hearts of gold and who also love what they get to do every day.
  5. I have the opportunity to impact someone’s life at some capacity every day that I walk into my school.
  6. My life is also impacted by my students each year.
  7. I work in an environment where the family unit is valued, which allows me to take part in important events my children may have at school.
  8. I am not required to travel or work long hours with my job, which allows me to be available for my kids at any time they may need me.
  9. My children are proud that I am a teacher. *They are still at the age where it’s really “cool” that mom teaches, and they love coming to my classroom and writing on my board.*
  10. I am about to see my students again, and whether they believe it or not, I have missed them and can’t wait to hear all about their summer!

One Easy Step

Next time you find yourself complaining about your day, take a moment to find ways to give thanks for that day.   It’s a small, easy step that really can change your outlook.

Your day is whatever you make of it.  Sure, things can go wrong throughout the day, but the majority of whether it’s good or bad is directly related to your attitude.

Take the negative, and write 10 positives.

What Happens When Plan A Fails?

You can plan and dream about what your life will look like, but what happens when it doesn’t work out the way you planned it? Because of our decisions and the decisions of others, we may find ourselves somewhere we never thought we would ever be: a career we aren’t passionate about, divorced, struggling with children, unplanned pregnancy, and the list could go on.

What happens when you find yourself outside of the margins within the story God had written for you? Don’t throw everything away. Understand God can and will bless you even when you have to move to Plan B (or C, or D, or E . . . )

Misty Gatlin Fitch

Taken from http://cdn.shopify.com Taken from http://cdn.shopify.com

I’m a planner.  I need to think things through, research if necessary, and plan every detail out.  For me, it’s a way to make sure my time isn’t wasted, my days are productive, and I get the most out of every situation.  It’s a way to keep me sane.  I struggle when things don’t work out as planned.  It throws me off, and I sometimes find myself easily overwhelmed.  Have you ever done this?

When the Plan Fails

Unfortunately, when this happens I oftentimes overreact and let my emotions take control.  Now, it’s one thing for emotions to take control when your alarm doesn’t go off the day of a most important meeting, causing you to rush to get ready, get caught in traffic, and arrive at the airport just in time to see your plane take off knowing you only had an hour between that flight…

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