As someone who always struggled with insecurities, I decided from even before Day 1 that disciplining my children would be done in private. With 2 kids I try my best to correct them separately from one another. Do I follow through with that philosophy 100% of the time? Absolutely not. I fail just like anyone else and correct my kids in front of one another and every so often in front of someone else – usually because I’m so rushed, and I don’t stop to remind myself that they are more important than whatever I’m rushing to do.
However, I do not humiliate them. Humiliation is not at any time an appropriate way to correct behavior– most especially in front of others. I believe correcting them in front of their siblings is somewhat humiliating, but to discipline a child in front of his or her peers can prove detrimental and cause a vast array of insecurities.
Of course, this is my way of thinking, and I would not push my beliefs on any other parent. Having said that, though, I feel so uncomfortable when I’m in a room where a parent is getting on to their child. It makes me feel as though I’m forced to be in a room where a completely inappropriate movie is being shown, and I can’t get out. I can choose not to watch, but I still hear it. The child knows I’m there, and I know I’m in a place where I shouldn’t be. It’s humiliating to the child, and then the child becomes insecure with me (or whoever witnesses the correction).
The post below is wonderful. I see these Atta Boy pictures on my newsfeed all the time, and I never know what to think about them. Sharing them, for me, is out of the question. Each time I see one I pray it’s a fake. I can’t imagine the insecurities that occur when children (and yes that includes teenagers) are humiliated so openly and publicly.
On that note, please consider the things you post on your own newsfeed about something “funny” your baby, school age child, or teenager did. Is it necessary to post? Is it something that would humiliate you if you were the one doing the “funny” thing? I’m not excused from this. As much as I try to post only the positive things about my children, I am almost certain I’ve posted something that would be embarrassing, and I’ve probably done it more than once. I urge you to ask yourself before posting something about your children: Would this be okay to post this very same thing if he or she did/said this at 5, 10, 15, 20, 30, 50 years old? Then, ask yourself if you would be willing to post the exact same update if you were the subject.
The naked baby pictures are so cute to a mom and dad, but is that really appropriate for your social networking friends? I’ll tell you I won’t even allow that in my baby books. People laugh because the few pictures I have of my kids with certain unclothed body parts all have stickers covering them. I don’t want my children at any age to be on display like that, which is why I wouldn’t even consider posting a picture of the ultrasound photo that says It’s a boy/girl with the arrow or circle pointing out how that was determined, nor would I change my babies’ diapers in a room of friends or family or strangers. It was a personal decision for me, and I wouldn’t do it any differently now as I did then. Some things should be kept private in my opinion.
****I promise the following post isn’t quite as “preachy” as mine might be, so go ahead and check it out. It really is a very good post.
Destroying Your Child’s Heart — One FB Picture at a Time by Heidi Stone