From the Mind of the Hurt

Last week I mentioned how thankful I am that I’ve kept journals over the years.  I’ve enjoyed going through them over the past week, and I’m amazed at the person I once was compared the the person I am now.  God hears our prayers.  Let me change that up a little: God hears YOUR prayers, so never give up on praying about anything.  God’s timing is perfect, and he wants to do something great inside of you.

One of the reasons I’m so focused on girls being confident and being certain of their identity in Christ is because I didn’t have that.  Honestly, I didn’t even know what “identity in Christ” meant.  I had never heard those words until college.  I was extremely lacking in confidence, which is probably one of the reasons I pushed myself to be the best at anything I ever tried.

I was not someone people enjoyed hanging around with because of my lack of confidence.  I know that sounds strange, but if someone around me showed a hint of confidence, I guess I felt the need to point out flaws in them in order to bring them down to where I was.  And I didn’t do it in the quiet.  I made sure to point things out when we were in a group of people.  I was a miserable person and wanted others to feel the same.  I didn’t have many friends, and I honestly don’t know how I even had the ones I did.  Bless those people!

All the times I’ve written and spoken to people from all over, I knew my earlier years had been filled with a low perception of myself, but I don’t know that I remembered how mean-spirited I was during that time.  God reminded me through these journal entries.  It appears 2002 was a year of great transformation within myself.  Although you may not know me personally, if you’ve followed anything I’ve written,  you know me well enough that you might think these entries were written by a completely different person.  I was a completely different person back then.  I’m amazed to see that God turned me into the person I asked to become.  Not only that, but I’ve written blog posts with tips on not being negative, and I’ve said some of these exact words without realizing I once prayed to have those same qualities myself.

These are just snippets from my prayers and notes from study groups that really stood out to me.  Can you relate to these thoughts? 

Journal Entries

May 5, 2002
Today I began Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado.  I want to change!  I hate how my thoughts of others are so judgmental.  It’s not just some people sometimes.  It’s all people all the time.  Lord, please help me to love myself enough to not feel the need to judge others.  I have such a lack of self-esteem that I feel I have to judge others and bring them down to my level.  Please take this away from me.  I want to be a person who looks at everyone the same and lift them up.  I want to praise them for their achievements, and I want to be happy for them when they’ve accomplished something.  Please take this immature jealousy and negativity away.  When I see the bad things of a person, please emphasize the good things so I can see them more clearly than the others.  I truly want to be more like you!  Thanks!

 **God loves you just the way you are, but he refuses to leave you that way.**

Aug 8, 2002
We need to learn how to accept each other the way God made us.  We are all different, so accept all of the differences.  We don’t have to understand the differences, we should simply accept them.

Who I am in Christ:
*I am a child of God
*I am accepted
*I am Christ’s friend
*I am justified
*I am one in spirit with God
*I am bought with a price
*I am saint
*I am adopted
*I am redeemed and forgiven
*I am complete in Christ
*I am secure
*I am free from all condemnation
*I am assured all things work together for my good
*I cannot be separated from the love of God
*I am established, anointed and sealed by God
*I am given a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind
*I have grace and mercy
*I cannot be touched by the evil one
*I am significant
*I am a minister of reconciliation
*I am God’s co-worker

Aug 15, 2002

Eph 2:10
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Understanding our identity is essential.  Change your perception of yourself by believing the truth.

What is my perception of myself?
I know that how I perceive myself is not of you.  My weight has been bothering me for a long time, and I ask you to please take this perception of myself away from me.  I know I’m beautiful inside and out, although I don’t always think that way.   I do see myself as a person who shuts people out often.  Please help me to not do that anymore and to see myself as a friendly person who is open for anyone who needs me to be.  Thank you, Lord, for creating me the way you did – in your image.


Oct 17, 2002
Identity and sense of worth are not determined by your qualities but by your character and identity in Christ.

Related Posts

You might enjoy some past posts related to this topic:
Rid Yourself of Negativity Once and For All
Our Differences: Not a Reason to Be Jealous but God’s Fingerprint on Us
Every Moment Was Laid Out

2 thoughts on “From the Mind of the Hurt

  1. Reblogged this on Misty Gatlin and commented:

    I felt the need to reblog this today, not for the original purpose of talking about how God answered my prayers and truly changed my heart but for those of you who need to see who you are in Christ. I love this list! Feel free to comment with anything you think could be added to this list “Who I Am in Christ.” Happy Tuesday!


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