7 Steps to Become the You You’ve Always Dreamed of Being

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I was speaking with a friend not too long ago who said she doesn’t like the person she is.  She said she always imagined her life would be different than what it is today, and she feels stuck.  Basically, when she looks at herself she sees all the things she’s not; she sees a failure.

Have you ever looked at yourself and realized you’re not the person you wanted to be?  This can happen at any age, too.  What do you think about when you’re left alone with the thoughts in your head?  If it’s anything like my friend, then I can only imagine how hopeless you might feel.  Maybe you think there’s no other way to be, so you just settle with leaving your dreams as . . . well, dreams.

You don’t have to, though.  Make it a reality.  Who do you want to be?  Let’s look at 7 steps to becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.

The List

If you know me, you know I’m a list person.  I love making lists and checking them off. It’s a strange quirk that I’ve come to love about myself.  I’m going to ask you to do the same thing.  Make a list, and from it you can gradually make positive changes in who you are.

  • List everything you imagined you would be.  Include characteristics, personality, job, etc. Anything that describes the person you’ve always dreamed of being.
  • Read over your list and mark through anything that describes who you are right now.  I bet you’ll be surprised when you see some of those already there. 
    • Maybe compassion is on your list, and you remember when the kid feel off his bike one day scraping up his leg pretty bad, and you helped calm him down. Maybe you even found someone with a Band-Aid to give him.  That’s compassion.  Mark it off.
  • Look over the words that still remain.  These are all goals.
  • Now, find one word on your list that you haven’t marked off.  It’s up to you which word you choose: first word, most important trait, trait you feel like you might have but aren’t quite there . . . you pick how you want to do this.  This is your first goal.
  • Make another list (Yes I know.  It must be some kind of addiction with me).  This list will tell you what you can do to make that specific trait become a part of you. It may look something like this:
    • Be Positive
      • When a negative thought pops into my head, counter it with something positive about the same subject.
      • Don’t drone on about my bad day. *honestly, there’s nothing another person can do to fix it, so what’s the point in dwelling on it?*
      • Decide to make a bad day into a good one by not allowing my thoughts to dwell on the bad things that have happened
    • Of course I could keep going on, but you get the idea behind this list.
  • Apply it!  Keep the last list handy.  It may take looking at it throughout the day to remind you of your goals and how to achieve them.  After a while you’ll notice you no longer need this list, and before you know it, you’ll see your patterns have changed.  I love how Chalene Johnson says it in her book, Push, “Behave your way to success, and eventually your brain will follow” (p. x).  In other words, start acting the part, and eventually you will be the part. 
  • Once this trait has become second nature, cross it off the list and start over with the next word.  Continue this process until you’ve crossed out everything on it.  Yes, it will take time.  These types of changes can’t happen overnight, but if you are determined and stick with it, you will realize you’re a success.  You can make your dreams come true.

You can do this! There’s no reason you can’t be everything you’ve dreamed of being.  This applies to all areas of your life.  If you think you aren’t cut out to be a doctor because of where you come from, think again.  Do this same thing writing out the steps it takes to become a doctor.  Start applying it.  It’s never too late.  Nothing is an obstacle unless you make it one.

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Confidence – Own It!

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I was speaking to a group of teen moms the other day when I realized my self-image topic turned more into a confidence topic.  Sure these two sound one and the same, but are they really?  It wasn’t until a young mom came to speak to me after the session that I realized they are two totally different entities.

Self-image is the way one views herself while confidence is the effect that comes from having a positive self-image.  Do you follow?  A person simply can’t be confident in who she is if her self-image is poor.

As I spoke to these ladies, I realized most of them have heard about having a positive self-image and have heard that they’re beautiful, but most of them haven’t heard that it’s okay to be confident in themselves.

Confidence is like a magnet drawing people near.  People look at a confident girl and see something different, and although they don’t know what the difference is, they are drawn to her in hopes some of it rubs off on them, too.

What Confidence is NOT

  • Superior-thinking: a confident girl is not someone who thinks she’s better than everyone else.
  • Popularity: just because someone is popular at school doesn’t mean she’s confident in who she is.  A confident girl could care less about popularity.  She enjoys the true friendships she has.
  • Shallow: a confident girl knows there’s more to someone than what the world’s image of beauty is that’s splattered across magazines and billboards.  Beauty has many facets.
  • Mean-spirited: a confident girl doesn’t feel the need to put others down or intentionally harm others.

Confidence is beautiful.  God created you with great thought and detail and he delights in your beauty.  He wants you to be confident in knowing his creation is absolutely perfect.  You are his creation, and every part of your being was created by him.  Stand in confidence.  Don’t doubt who you are.  Own it!