I read an article the other day, and it did nothing more than break my heart for this little girl. Here she is, just a baby really, and she has no one telling her how she was fearfully and wonderfully made. She has no one telling her that she’s beautiful. It’s literally heartbreaking to me as a parent and as a female. This girl is not much older than my son. I can’t imagine him even knowing what plastic surgery is or about some of the other things discussed in this article – much less practicing them.
This 7 year old girl not only has been given vouchers (by her mom) for breast augmentation (after she’s 16 when it’s legal) and liposuction, but her mom also taught her to pole dance last year! Her older sisters have already had plastic surgery, and the mom has given herself the name “The Human Barbie” because of all of the work she’s had done. This 7 year old apparently asks constantly for the things these vouchers are good for. How does she even know about this stuff?
I know I usually talk more to the girls, but sometimes we as parents need our eyes to be opened to some of the things we do and say that can negatively affect our kids without us even realizing it. Did you know research shows that girls used to start worrying about self-image on average around age 9? Now they say they’re finding more preschoolers and kindergarteners who are concerned about body image. Did you also know that the low self-image usually begins from things girls hear from their parents?
If you are a parent, I bet you might be thinking you haven’t done or said anything to make your daughter question her self-image. My husband and I thought the same thing, but we quickly realized there were a few things that we had unknowingly done that could plant seeds of low self-image in both of our children.
Take a peek at some things that could be happening in your home without you even realizing it. Do you ever:
- Look in the mirror and say, “My nose is too big. I wish I was taller. I wish my eyes were blue” or anything along those lines about yourself?
- Now look at it from your daughter’s perspective. What happens when someone tells her she has your nose? She heard you saying your nose is too big, so that means her nose is too big. Her eyes aren’t blue. Does that mean something’s wrong with her?
- Joke with your husband that he has funny ears (or something along those lines)?
- Again, what happens when your daughter (or son) hears that she (or he) has Daddy’s ears?
- Talk about how you need to lose weight, say you’re fat, or constantly stand on the scale?
- Your daughter is watching. Do you want her to think that way? (This doesn’t mean you can’t work to improve your health, but be aware of listening ears and eyes that take everything in). She looks at you and sees something beautiful, and when you do these things, you’re making her question what beautiful looks like –seriously this came straight from God and just spoke directly to me like a bolt of lightning!
- for that matter, what about your son? He, too, thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world. If you criticize yourself, his view of beauty begins to become skewed. What will that do to his future wife?
- Talk to other people about your kids saying things like, “She’s just like me and not good at math”?
- Now she can write off math because you said she’s not good at it. In her mind there’s no need to try to improve because you never improved, therefore she is not capable of it.
- Dye your hair?
- I know this sounds petty, but depending on the sensitivity of your child, she could be looking at your natural color (which just happens to be the same as hers) and see that you don’t think it’s pretty enough–meaning she’s not pretty enough.
- Diet constantly?
- This goes back to the weight point above. Do you want her to already start thinking that way? Instead of dieting (which is not effective), teach your children and yourself to eat healthy, balanced meals and not feel guilty for splurging on occasion.
I could go on, but I think you probably get the idea. My husband and I realized we did several of these things without thinking about the impact it could potentially have on our kids. It’s difficult for your daughter to hear (and believe) how beautiful she is and how she was fearfully and wonderfully made right after she heard you saying your nose was too big. She remembers that Grandma told her just the other day that she has your nose.
Think through conversations you’ve had with your spouse even at times when you’re just joking around. Think through things you’ve said about yourself with little ears around. The battle of body-image and self-worth begins at home. Build that firm foundation before sending them out into a world saturated with unattainable images.
Your words should be uplifting and encouraging in every possible way. There might possibly be little things said that meant nothing to you but could mean everything to your babies.
Back to the Article
This mom’s reason for giving her 7 year old daughter these types of gifts for Christmas and her birthday is that it’s comparable to saving for college. In her words, “I see these vouchers as investing in her future, like saving money for her education.”
She doesn’t at all see it as telling her daughter she’s going to grow up not being pretty enough. To add to it, she has placed all importance on outward appearance, which is absolutely detrimental to any young girl. “I’m just supporting her and making her dreams come true. Looks are a big part of how our futures pan out – there shouldn’t be a stigma around wanting to look good.” This girl can’t have breast augmentation until after 16. Does that mean she will go through the next 10 years feeling inadequate?
To the Girls
Please don’t allow yourself to fall into this completely unhealthy way of thinking. You are worth far too much to place all of your value on your outward appearance. You are worth far too much to think your outward appearance isn’t adequate.
I’ve said it many times before, and I’ll say it again. You are absolutely beautiful. You were fearfully and wonderfully created by the creator of EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL. Don’t question what he chose for you. I promise you that he didn’t mess up, and I promise you that the boy he has in mind for you will see the beauty he created with no changes necessary.
I would really love to hear your thoughts about this article. Click below to read, and come back here to tell me your thoughts. Feel free to comment on the things I’ve said above whether you agree or disagree.
Article The Human Barbie
Related links I found helpful:
Too Fat to be a Princess?
8 thoughts on “My Daughter the Barbie”
I believe her money would be better invested in saving for her child’s education. Women have been fighting for decades to break free from being objectified and it seems to me that what this woman endorses is a step backward.
I can definitely see your point. The thing is, the mom may not know any better. We don’t know what her parents taught her. She may honestly believe she is helping her daughter. It’s a sad thing to see happening — especially when there’s nothing you can personally do about it.
My heart breaks for this little girl as well as her mother (who definitely needs our prayers).
This is so sad! To add a bit to your list, I think one of the biggest thing parents do wrong without noticing is letting girls become obsessed with Disney Princess! I don’t think the movies are bad, and the more recent ones (Moulon, Princess and the Frog, and Tangled) encourage girls to be their own heroes! But if we step back and analyze them, are they really teaching the values we want our girls learning? I don’t want my daughter to think she needs a man to rescue her, or that she has to be a size 2 and an amazing singer to be valued. Don’t get me wrong, these movies are great for family movie night, but when you buy every Disney Princess toy, bedroom decoration, movie, and even plate available for your daughter, you just may be fueling an obsession that can be just as damaging as what this Barbie mom is teaching her children.
I agree to an extent. I was very adamant on not using the word “princess” for my daughter, and I talked about it very candidly to my friends before she was born. However, something completely changed when she got here, and not a day goes by she doesn’t hear me call her that. We talk almost every night about how she’s God’s child, which makes her a real princess, which is why I stress it so much in my writing to young girls as well. I think the idea of what a princess is has really gotten skewed because of the fictional characters. At first, I was against having anything Disney princess, and I cringed when she got that first present with the princesses on it. Now she has several things with Disney Princesses, and we all have fun with it (even down to the box of dress up clothes). It’s just a balance that comes from the parents that makes all the difference.
I can’t speak for all guys, but I know for me, there have been times when I’ve seen a woman who was all made-up (who piled on tons of make-up) and then I’ve seen the way she looked before… and I thought, she looked soooo much better before. And there have also been times when I’ve looked in a magazine and have seen pictures of a woman who has had plastic surgery a few times… and then I finally see the before picture (the one before her first surgery) and I think she looked better in her before picture!!!
To me, a beautiful woman is a confident woman. A woman who has beautiful inside personality attributes. I’ve seen woman who looked like the quote “Barbie” type that is mentioned in your post and then I’ve seen woman who didn’t necessarily look like the “barbie” type but who had the most beautiful personality. And to me, the one with the personality always wins over the “barbie” type. I think it’s sad that the mother in your post is instill negative, insecure, superficial qualities into her young daughter. Instead, she should make sure she grows up to have a normal, healthy childhood. Coming up, even as a guy, my parents told me time and time again how proud they were of me. And that made me feel so loved, appreciated and confident in my abilities as a man. So I can’t stress the importance of the parents’ words for the children.
Thank you, Misty, so much for bringing awareness and helping so many people, this will make a difference in the lives of many!
I really enjoy your comments. I pray my readers are reading them as well because hearing what a guy thinks can maybe open their eyes a little as well. I can tell girls all day long that they’re beautiful without all the extra junk, but they want to hear it from the opposite sex because, for some, it’s a void they try to fill. It’s unfortunate, but it’s our world today. I agree 100% that what makes someone beautiful is being confident in who they are and who they were created to be–regardless of their gender. I’m doing my best to tell that to girls all over the world, and if it changes 1 girl’s perspective of herself, it was completely worth the time.
Keep bringing those comments. You’re speaking a lot of truth that my readers need to hear!
What a loony mother!! Who would do that?! Let the girl decide for herself if she wants plastic surgery ONCE SHE IS AN ADULT! Don’t encourage before she is even old enough to drive!!! Geez!