I was speaking to a group of teen moms the other day when I realized my self-image topic turned more into a confidence topic. Sure these two sound one and the same, but are they really? It wasn’t until a young mom came to speak to me after the session that I realized they are two totally different entities.
Self-image is the way one views herself while confidence is the effect that comes from having a positive self-image. Do you follow? A person simply can’t be confident in who she is if her self-image is poor.
As I spoke to these ladies, I realized most of them have heard about having a positive self-image and have heard that they’re beautiful, but most of them haven’t heard that it’s okay to be confident in themselves.
Confidence is like a magnet drawing people near. People look at a confident girl and see something different, and although they don’t know what the difference is, they are drawn to her in hopes some of it rubs off on them, too.
What Confidence is NOT
- Superior-thinking: a confident girl is not someone who thinks she’s better than everyone else.
- Popularity: just because someone is popular at school doesn’t mean she’s confident in who she is. A confident girl could care less about popularity. She enjoys the true friendships she has.
- Shallow: a confident girl knows there’s more to someone than what the world’s image of beauty is that’s splattered across magazines and billboards. Beauty has many facets.
- Mean-spirited: a confident girl doesn’t feel the need to put others down or intentionally harm others.
Confidence is beautiful. God created you with great thought and detail and he delights in your beauty. He wants you to be confident in knowing his creation is absolutely perfect. You are his creation, and every part of your being was created by him. Stand in confidence. Don’t doubt who you are. Own it!
Tag Archives: self-esteem
I’m Perfect — How About You?
I’m still amazed at how the enemy reaches the majority of us by pointing out our imperfections even after knowing what the truth really says about us. It’s been on my mind a lot lately, so I want to take a passage from my book, Perfect You: Realizing Your Perfection in an Imperfect World.
How you view yourself affects more than you realize. It can affect your success, happiness, and believe it or not it can affect how other people view you. God wants you to be confident in the perfect creation you are. He placed a lot of time and thought into how to create you. What is it that makes you think he just threw you together without even a thought or that he messed up or forgot something?
You are a Masterpiece
What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator.
Does a clay pot argue with its maker?
Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, “Stop, you’re doing it wrong!”
Does the pot exclaim, “How clumsy can you be?”
How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father, “Why was I born?”
or if it said to its mother, “Why did you make me this way?”
This is what the Lord says—the Holy One of Israel and your Creator:
“Do you question what I do for my children?
Do you give me orders about the work of my hands?”
Isaiah 45:9-11 NLT
As girls, we look at ourselves in the mirror to determine whether we are beautiful or not. How often do we stand in front of the mirror figuring out what we need to change? We look at what parts of our bodies need to be more developed and what parts we need to lose. My nose is too big. My hair is too dark. My waist isn’t small enough. In whose eyes are all these things true?
Media is often blamed for this way of thinking. Certain magazines, TV shows, and movies confirm these thoughts. But the media shouldn’t take all the blame for our poor self-image. Who chose media as the voice of the world?
The Bible says that Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). Do not be deceived by him. Your Daddy God will never speak those lies to you. Satan has been called “the god of the world.” Our world is becoming more corrupt by the minute. The enemy uses many tools to guide us away from God’s teaching, and media is one of the easiest and strongest ways to take our focus away from God’s truth. It often sucks us in without our realizing it. God tells us to guard our hearts and take every thought captive that goes against his teaching (2 Cor. 10:5). Satan is smart. Don’t underestimate what he can do. If he wraps those thoughts and images in a cute little package, we are likely to get pulled in toward him and away from God.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 NLT
So many times I’ve heard this Scripture, and I’ve not given it a second thought because I’d heard it so often and felt I knew it well. Recently, I stopped and really absorbed what it was telling me. God says to fix our thoughts on him. Don’t fix your thoughts on things that are not true. All those negative thoughts you have about your appearance are nothing but lies. They are not things to fix your thoughts on. When you do that, you will find yourself falling into a trap.
The only weapon the enemy has against you is the ability to lie. He lies to break down your confidence, and he uses whatever he can to convince you that his lies are truth. Media is all around you, so it’s the easiest way to get his word out, but it’s not all bad. You just need to have an awareness of the things you’re allowing in.
Does that mean you can’t watch movies, listen to music, or read your favorite magazines anymore? Absolutely not.
I used to enjoy reading a particular popular magazine, and I never understood why some Christians thought it was so bad. But as I spent more time with God, I noticed that his desires were becoming my own. My desire to look at that magazine or watch certain movies started fading. Before I knew it, I was repulsed by some of the same movies I had been watching for years. Those “fun” things weren’t as much fun as my relationship with God grew stronger.
I picked up my favorite magazine at a bookstore one day and sat down to read through it. Everything in there was about sex or how to fix physical imperfections. No wonder I had always had a horrible self-image. Reading that one magazine, I began feeling my self-image issues come back. All the attributes required to have a “perfect” body, according to that magazine, were things I lacked. According to that magazine, everything about my body was imperfect. My old thoughts, again, became louder than the voice of truth. It’s amazing how quickly Satan can work. It is easy to fall into Satan’s trap without even realizing it.
I challenge you to follow Philippians 4:8 and fix your thoughts on the truth God has laid out for you. Before reading, listening to, or watching anything, consider if it follows God’s Word. If it doesn’t, change the station or choose a different movie or forego the magazine. See if you begin to view yourself differently than you did before.
Almost every girl I’ve worked with as a teacher and youth leader over the years has struggled with self-esteem in one way or another. The images surrounding you daily of what perfection looks like are skewed. We look at models to show us what perfection looks like, but pictures of models are airbrushed and touched up. How can you strive to be perfect when perfect doesn’t exist? It’s unattainable. Yet girls literally kill themselves trying to reach this type of perfection.
Today, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and answer this question, “What makes you perfect?” Go ahead and write down your answers. Ask God to help you answer that question.
Related Links:
Lies You Tell Yourself
Who Says You’re Not Perfect?
Who says you’re not perfect?
Who says you’re not worth it?
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting.
Trust me.
That’s the price of beauty. Who says you’re not pretty? Who says you’re not beautiful?*
Every time I hear it on the radio, this song causes me to stop and listen. What are your thoughts when you stop and really listen to these words? Before going on, listen to the video below and take the song in as if it’s about you.
This song reminds me so much of my book, The Real You, because the entire premise is about the way God views us versus the way the world does.
I’m no beauty queen. I’m just beautiful me.
Amen and Praise God! I fully accept this statement for myself! According to Merriam-Webster online, the definition of beauty queen is: a beautiful and glamorous woman or girl; specifically: a winner of a beauty contest.
Who is it that determines what beautiful and glamorous is in order for one to win a beauty contest? The pageants I’ve seen had only human eyes viewing and judging the outcome. How does that make any sense? God was, is, and always will be the creator of ALL THINGS beautiful. He created you, and Psalm 45:11 says he is enthralled by your beauty. Girl, you won the beauty queen title a LONG time ago, but it was by the one and only person who can judge you with 100% accuracy. As the first day of my study says, the creator of all things beautiful is absolutely and completely enthralled by YOUR beauty! There’s no first, second, third runner up. You were already crowned, so why search for validation in the flawed eyes of those judges?
Furthermore, who is it that says you’re not worth it? I believe the Bible is God’s Holy Word and the spoken truth given to us by the one and only Savior. The bible says that God sent his only son – not his first son. Not his third son. Not his eighteenth son. He sent his one and only son that he loved more than any father could ever love a son. He sent him down to live life in the flesh and die a brutal death just so he could spend eternity with you, his beautiful and perfectly created daughter. He, the creator of the Heavens and the Earth; the creator of all things good; the creator of all things beautiful and perfect; He says YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WORTH EVERY BIT OF IT!
The next time you feel judged by who you are; the next time someone makes you feel insecure for who you are; remember that they are looking at you through a lens that is foggy. They don’t see who you really are. Remember that you are beautiful, made perfect by the blood of Christ, and completely worth the price he had to pay to spend eternity with you. Remember you were created with a plan and a purpose, and you are the only one who can fulfill your plan and purpose, so changing anything about who you are can cause you to veer from the path God laid out for you.
Proceed with Caution!
One thing I know about us girls is that when we become insecure, we search for insecurities in others and make sure to point them out. More than likely, if it’s another girl making you feel insecure or judging you, it’s because she has insecurities herself. So before retaliating with hurtful words, which is something else we often do, consider the fact that Jesus died for her too. She is beautiful. She is worth it. She is no better than you, and you are no better than her. Don’t allow the enemy to create an ugly conflict between two of God’s beautiful creations.
One thing I know about boys (not all boys, mind you), is that they create insecurities in girls so girls will become vulnerable to them. I heard it twice last week alone from a teenage boy, “I know how to handle girls. Treat them like crap and say a bunch of mean things about them, and they’ll do whatever I want.” He went on to say, “I don’t do that with the girls I really like. I only do it to girls I don’t. Then it’s not a big deal to get what I want and leave them alone.”**
Girls, this is real! There are boys who knock you down just so you’ll do whatever they want in order to gain approval from them. Here’s what’s even worse: we fall into their trap! They know it will work because it has so many times before.
Never let yourself think you aren’t worth more than that. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords is your daddy, and as his daughter, you are a princess. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you should never allow yourself to be treated as anything less than that.
Push those lies of the enemy out of your thoughts and replace them with the truth. Get in the word and fill your heart with scriptures telling you how much God thinks of you. The bible is overflowing with love letters to you about your beauty, the perfection God created, the intricacy with which you were formed, the importance of your life, the purpose for which you were created, and the priceless worth of your life.
I’ll ask again: Who says you’re not perfect? Who says you’re not worth it? Who says you’re not pretty? Who says you’re not beautiful?
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Disclaimer: please forgive me if you enjoy pageants and other beauty contests. I don’t mean to offend.
*Selena Gomez – Who Says
**italicized words are my own cleaned up version of what was really said.

