Tag Archives: negativity

From the Mind of the Hurt

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Last week I mentioned how thankful I am that I’ve kept journals over the years.  I’ve enjoyed going through them over the past week, and I’m amazed at the person I once was compared the the person I am now.  God hears our prayers.  Let me change that up a little: God hears YOUR prayers, so never give up on praying about anything.  God’s timing is perfect, and he wants to do something great inside of you.

One of the reasons I’m so focused on girls being confident and being certain of their identity in Christ is because I didn’t have that.  Honestly, I didn’t even know what “identity in Christ” meant.  I had never heard those words until college.  I was extremely lacking in confidence, which is probably one of the reasons I pushed myself to be the best at anything I ever tried.

I was not someone people enjoyed hanging around with because of my lack of confidence.  I know that sounds strange, but if someone around me showed a hint of confidence, I guess I felt the need to point out flaws in them in order to bring them down to where I was.  And I didn’t do it in the quiet.  I made sure to point things out when we were in a group of people.  I was a miserable person and wanted others to feel the same.  I didn’t have many friends, and I honestly don’t know how I even had the ones I did.  Bless those people!

All the times I’ve written and spoken to people from all over, I knew my earlier years had been filled with a low perception of myself, but I don’t know that I remembered how mean-spirited I was during that time.  God reminded me through these journal entries.  It appears 2002 was a year of great transformation within myself.  Although you may not know me personally, if you’ve followed anything I’ve written,  you know me well enough that you might think these entries were written by a completely different person.  I was a completely different person back then.  I’m amazed to see that God turned me into the person I asked to become.  Not only that, but I’ve written blog posts with tips on not being negative, and I’ve said some of these exact words without realizing I once prayed to have those same qualities myself.

These are just snippets from my prayers and notes from study groups that really stood out to me.  Can you relate to these thoughts? 

Journal Entries

May 5, 2002
Today I began Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado.  I want to change!  I hate how my thoughts of others are so judgmental.  It’s not just some people sometimes.  It’s all people all the time.  Lord, please help me to love myself enough to not feel the need to judge others.  I have such a lack of self-esteem that I feel I have to judge others and bring them down to my level.  Please take this away from me.  I want to be a person who looks at everyone the same and lift them up.  I want to praise them for their achievements, and I want to be happy for them when they’ve accomplished something.  Please take this immature jealousy and negativity away.  When I see the bad things of a person, please emphasize the good things so I can see them more clearly than the others.  I truly want to be more like you!  Thanks!

 **God loves you just the way you are, but he refuses to leave you that way.**

Aug 8, 2002
We need to learn how to accept each other the way God made us.  We are all different, so accept all of the differences.  We don’t have to understand the differences, we should simply accept them.

Who I am in Christ:
*I am a child of God
*I am accepted
*I am Christ’s friend
*I am justified
*I am one in spirit with God
*I am bought with a price
*I am saint
*I am adopted
*I am redeemed and forgiven
*I am complete in Christ
*I am secure
*I am free from all condemnation
*I am assured all things work together for my good
*I cannot be separated from the love of God
*I am established, anointed and sealed by God
*I am given a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind
*I have grace and mercy
*I cannot be touched by the evil one
*I am significant
*I am a minister of reconciliation
*I am God’s co-worker

Aug 15, 2002

Eph 2:10
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Understanding our identity is essential.  Change your perception of yourself by believing the truth.

What is my perception of myself?
I know that how I perceive myself is not of you.  My weight has been bothering me for a long time, and I ask you to please take this perception of myself away from me.  I know I’m beautiful inside and out, although I don’t always think that way.   I do see myself as a person who shuts people out often.  Please help me to not do that anymore and to see myself as a friendly person who is open for anyone who needs me to be.  Thank you, Lord, for creating me the way you did – in your image.

 

Oct 17, 2002
Identity and sense of worth are not determined by your qualities but by your character and identity in Christ.

Related Posts

You might enjoy some past posts related to this topic:
Rid Yourself of Negativity Once and For All
Our Differences: Not a Reason to Be Jealous but God’s Fingerprint on Us
Every Moment Was Laid Out

Rid Yourself of Negativity Once And For All

We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

You’ve met her before – the girl who rarely has anything good to say.  You know when she opens her mouth the words coming out will more than likely be something negative.  She’s sick again; her cousin’s brother’s uncle’s cat is deathly ill; her math teacher hates her; the principal singled her out when she was caught texting in class, and it’s not fair; it’s too hot outside; it’s too cold outside; that girl shouldn’t wear that color eye shadow; the world is falling apart because the people running the countries don’t know what they’re doing. . . .  Whether she speaks poorly of everything around her or doesn’t allow anyone else to be hurt or sick because she’s more hurt or her illness is worse, she’s the girl most people don’t like to be around.  She may even be the girl staring back at you in the mirror.  When I was in college, I realized for the first time that this girl was staring back at me in the mirror.

I remember my second year of college when I kept hearing people mention how negative I was, and I became really defensive.  No one had said that to me before and to be honest, it made me mad.  I thought they were just being mean and hurtful to me.  Finally, when my roommate and best friend told me I was negative, I started paying attention to my words and attitude toward things.  My attitude and words had a definite trend, and it wasn’t pretty.

Nearly everything I said about anyone or anything was completely negative, mean, and sometimes downright hurtful.  I look back now and see that I was also the same way in high school, and particular moments replay in my mind.  I cringe wondering how I even had the few friends I did.

Once I realized how negative I was, I could dig deeper and find out what made me that way.  It wasn’t too difficult to find the root of the problem, and that’s what I started working on first.  It’s still easy for me to fall into that negative trap even as an adult, so I’ve had to learn how to be more aware so I could rid myself of that stronghold (or at least take control of it).  Don’t get me wrong.  I still have my negative moments, and some are whoppers, but thankfully I know what to look for and can get out of that mindset.

3 Ways to Take Control of YOUR Negativity

I emphasized the word your because yours is the only negativity you can control.  If you catch yourself saying or even thinking negative thoughts on a regular basis, you can start taking control right now.  It’s a process of reprogramming your thoughts, but here are 3 tips to get you started:

  1. Try to pinpoint the source of your negativity, and remove it from your life.  Do you surround yourself with negative people?  You can’t be a positive person if your ears hear negativity most of the time.  It doesn’t mean you have to be hurtful to your friends and never talk to them again, but you should really distance yourself from them.  I’ve had to do this with some of my dearest friends, and it was very difficult, but it was needed.  I made excuses for staying to myself rather than visiting with those friends because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, but I knew the distance was crucial for my own wellbeing.
  2. Take your thoughts captive.  Those thoughts aren’t going to automatically disappear from your head just because you’ve decided to be a more positive person.  When a thought pops in your head, catch it immediately, and don’t let it escape from your mouth.  You will still be dealing with that attitude, but you don’t have to make others deal with it too.  Once you take it captive. . .
  3. Counter it by speaking something positive.  You’ve got this negative thought, and you feel the urge to speak it, but try finding something positive about the same topic and make that thought come out of your mouth.  For example: Your friends are talking about the new girl and how nice she seems to be.  Your first thought may be something like her voice gets on my nerves.  (Sometimes our negativity comes from our own insecurities, which would probably be true in this case).  Grab hold of that thought, and find something you can say nice about her.  It doesn’t matter what.  Maybe you can say her hair is pretty cool.  Even if it’s something small, just say it out loud.  When you continue this process, you’ll notice the positive thoughts start coming to you before the negative ones.

By following these 3 easy steps, you’ll begin to feel free because you’re shedding the heavy weight of negativity.  Carrying around that kind of weight slowly wears you down.

I’m leaving you with a link to one of my favorite SNL skits.  It’s a funny way of portraying negative people, and it’s always a bonus when the SNL actors can’t stop laughing.   Check it out, and be ready to laugh with them!  And do your best not to be the Debbie Downer of your circle of friends.

Debbie Downer

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