Tag Archives: Jesus

Keeping Everyone Happy

disappointment

For someone who has struggled in the past with feelings of inadequacy, extremely low self-esteem, the need to be perfect in order to be good enough, and struggling with food addictions, it’s sometimes hard to stop these feelings from returning.

I told a little of my story before in my post, When Food Consumes You, and I mentioned that I was always tiny until college. That was me as it was everyone in my family. However, looking at the history of those in my family, it seemed that once adulthood hit I would inevitably gain weight.

I remember when I gained so much in college, and I constantly heard comments from loved ones.  They would say “You look like you need to jog around the block a few times,” and “Are you going to keep on until you look like your sister?” (Yeah that was a jab at both of us), or “How much weight are you planning on gaining?” Of course, these are just a few of the things I heard.

You see, many members of my family don’t have filters.  They say whatever is on their minds regardless of how it might hurt the other person.  I was the same way until my early 20s when it was brought to my attention what I was doing, and sometimes I still struggle with not saying the first thought that pops in my head.

I Can’t Win

For the first time in my life I am exercising and focusing on my health.  Yes, I was very active in high school as a cheerleader, but I never was one to go out and “exercise.”  I didn’t even step foot in a gym until college when I took a kinesiology class only because I had to.

Once I started really exercising, my metabolism went crazy again just like way back in the day.  I ended up losing about 10lbs more than I had set my goal to be, and I’m doing everything I can to gain more.  I’ve even been eating more junk food in the past few months than I’ve had in the entire year.  Nothing is helping me gain, and I know I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been.  If you’ve seen me in person you can see even my bones are tiny.  My fingers are tiny.  My little fingernails look like someone in elementary school.  It’s the way God created me.

I visited family this weekend, and those same people who made the comments above had other things to say to me.  One in particular I know was out of love, but that doesn’t make the words any easier.  “You look anorexic,” and “You are too skinny.  You look unhealthy.”  “You look poor. You need to stop losing weight,” and my favorite, “How much weight are you going to lose?”  That last one is interesting because it’s from the very same person who asked me several years back, “How much weight are you planning on gaining?”  Keep in mind I’ve lost nothing in a year.  I’ve actually gained a few.

If I’m living to please others, this is proof that I can’t win. I’m thankful I don’t struggle the way I used to, but boy is it hard when those are comments I hear first thing from my loved ones.

Today I find my identity in Christ.  I don’t struggle with my self-esteem because I came to the understanding that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made by the only one who knows what beauty and perfection are.  I’m living for an audience of one, so if someone doesn’t like me for who I am, there’s nothing I can do about it, and there’s no reason I should feel I have to do anything about it.  I don’t struggle with food anymore.  I don’t count calories or weigh myself.  I don’t even own a scale.  I do sometimes struggle with perfection, but that is something I continue to work on.  I’m so imperfect, and I know I can’t make up for it by being perfect in other areas.

I’ve grown.  I’m thankful, too, because this weekend could have easily sent me into an emotional downward spiral.  I love who I am.  I don’t understand why those I love most feel the need to point out what they think is wrong about me, and it’s by no means easy, but it’s something that I don’t need to spend my time dwelling on.  This is the extent of me dwelling on it—writing this post.  I’m speaking out for those of you who have gone through a similar situation.

How You CAN Win

Do NOT allow the words of others, harmless or otherwise, affect you in a way that is not healthy.  You are beautiful and perfectly made.  There’s a difference when someone knows that you are doing something unhealthy to yourself and someone who just feels the need to be critical.  Discern which voice you’re hearing.

Most importantly, remember you are to live for an audience of one.  If you try to live your life in a way that keeps everyone, you’ll quickly feel like you’re juggling your life unsuccessfully.  That’s the easiest way to make yourself feel like a failure.  Trying to please everyone is not possible, and you will fail.  Don’t do that to yourself.

Related Post: Why I Get Fit

I Want Salsa!

gift

Earlier this week I posted to my FB page about a conversation I had with my son on the way to school.  I said I would tell my thoughts after I hear other people’s thoughts first.    I decided to do that here in my blog.  If you have followed my posts for any amount of time, you know I usually focus on life and living life and being confident and give encouraging words to my readers.  It doesn’t tend to go deep into Biblical happenings, but sometimes it’s just necessary.  This is one of those times.

I love getting into conversations like this with my little 1st grader.  He amazes me because of how deep his thoughts go. He’s always been that way, and I hope it never changes.  He’s extremely intelligent, and he by far exceeds my intelligence already in some areas.

For those who missed it, here was my post:

My sweet, contemplative son and I were talking this morning after listening to Pastor Greg on the way to school. He was going over the Lord’s Prayer, and I turned it down to ask him if he understood what forgiveness really means. We say it all the time to him, but I wasn’t sure he completely understood. In the process of talking about it, he said something I had never thought of before. I’d love to hear your thoughts: “If someone hasn’t asked Jesus into their hearts then they can always ask for forgiveness for their sins, but they won’t be forgiven. Only when Jesus lives in their hearts will God forgive them.”

 

My thoughts :

All I can say is WOW!  Have you ever really thought about that?  It’s just not something that has ever gone through my mind, so it made me stop and think.  I mean, I just always think about asking God to forgive us for our sins, but never have I considered the fact that not everyone has made a decision to follow Christ in their daily walk.

So never having considered this, I realized it makes absolute sense.  Jesus’ death and resurrection was planned long before it ever occurred, and it happened for a specific purpose.  It was as a gift to us, though it’s difficult to think of what had to happen in order for us to have this gift.  

Jesus died in order for us to be forgiven for our sins so God could see us as righteous – because, as you know, we are all far from it.  However, in order for us to be forgiven and be seen as righteous, we must FIRST accept this gift. 

I Want Salsa!

It’s no different than getting a gift for your birthday – a blender, for instance.  So you have this awesome blender (my favorite is the Ninja BTW), and it’s sitting on your counter still in the box 3 months later.  You just haven’t had time to open it and use it.  Maybe you’ve been craving fresh salsa.  You’ve thought of making it since you have all the ingredients you need just sitting there in your refrigerator.  Every day, you look at the box and the ingredients you have on hand, but you just don’t want to go through the trouble of ripping the tape, opening the box, putting the blender together, and putting in all the ingredients.  You really want some salsa, but not that badly.  You can do this every day, but you will never get to enjoy the homemade goodness until you take the gift that’s already been given to you and let it serve its purpose.  Sure, you can want your own homemade salsa really badly, and you can even ask for it until you’re blue in the face, but you won’t sit down to dip those crunchy tortilla in it until you take the steps required to make it.

Blenders . . . Forgiveness . . . What in the World?

You see, my sweet 7 year old is correct.  Everyone has already been given this gift of being forgiven for the mistakes they make.  You can want to be forgiven all day long, and you can even ask for it, but if you’ve never taken the appropriate steps to receive and “open” this gift, you can’t utilize it for its purpose.

In order to be forgiven, you must first acknowledge you have this gift sitting in front of you.  You must accept it.  You must follow the steps required to open it.  The coolest thing about it. . . it’s so EASY to receive it and open it up:

3 Simple Steps to Utilize this Gift:

  1. Acknowledge the gift is in front of you and you want it and need it.  In other words, acknowledge you have made mistakes, as we all have, and you have the opportunity of wiping them away in the eyes of the only one who matters – God.
  2. Know who the gift giver is and why he gave you this gift.  Jesus died on the cross in a most brutal, tragic way.  He was blameless but allowed himself to die just as any other law-breaker would have.  He did this as if he were you and died for the mistakes you’ve made and will make in the future (because, let’s face it, we are human and will continue to mess up).  He literally took your place and died for your sins so you could be viewed by God as blameless if only you accept this to be truth.
  3. Open the box, and start using the gift as it was intended to be used.  No one gives a gift they don’t want you to use, but they’ll never force you to use that blender you got for your birthday, right?  Ask Jesus to forgive you for the mistakes you’ve already made.  Tell him thank you for giving you this gift of forgiveness and allowing you to be viewed as blameless in his father’s eyes.  Tell him you want to receive this gift, and you’d like for him to come into your heart.  Have the true desire to do your best to continue each day not making mistakes, but understand that you aren’t perfect.  It’s only through accepting this gift that you will be forever forgiven for any future mistakes when you take them to God.  Even better. . . now with Jesus in your heart, you’ll find that some of those mistakes don’t come near as easy because you recognize them more quickly as being mistakes, and you’ll likely have a greater desire to do the right thing.

 

I would love to hear your story if for the first time you decided to accept this gift that’s been sitting in front of you.  If you haven’t yet . . . go ahead.  What do you have to lose?

My Weekend with Royalty

Wesley Feb 2013

This weekend I had the pleasure of spending time with an incredible group of young ladies from the Stephen F. Austin Wesley Foundation.  They were the first to test out my new retreat package YOU.  I always consider it a great blessing and honor to be able to stand in front of a group, whether big or small, and speak encouraging words over them.   It seems as though I get just as much from them as they do from me.

It’s amazing to see that I took so much more home with me than what I walked in with.  Because this event was different than the ones before, I was able to spend time listening to these girls.  I watched them interact with one another.  I enjoyed stories they told about their lives.  I watched as each one found something in the message that spoke directly to them.  I took home a little piece of each girl who touched my lives at some capacity.

This retreat was also different from other events because I was once a part of the Wesley Foundation.  We sat at the table for lunch, and they allowed me to reminisce of the days when I called the Wesley my home and the people of the Wesley my family.  They, too, had some of the very same stories that will one day become wonderful memories they’ll cherish forever.

Secret Language
Do you remember when you were little and had a “secret language?”  Surely I wasn’t the only one who did that.  My friends and I tried so many different types of codes to speak or write in.  Looking back, I’m almost certain we were easily understood, but at the time, we felt we were the only ones who knew what we were saying to one another.  This weekend, I felt at times like we were speaking in code: Mau, spoons, 4 on the couch, bigger and better, service of bread, God’s grace is free, you can have a tree but not leaves. . . Interesting how these few words bring up a vivid picture in my head, and although I haven’t been a part of the Wesley Foundation since spring 2002, I immediately had a common bond with these girls because of our secret language.  And maybe you hear those same words and know what I’m talking about, but the difference with these girls and myself is that we’ve played these games in the same building, in the same van, and quite possibly on the same couch.  Although we’re a generation apart, we have a common bond that quickly brought us together within only a few minutes of meeting.

This weekend reminded me of things I had forgotten.  It reminded me of where I came from.  It reminded me of who I was years ago and who I’ve grown into today.  Tom and Susan Teekell (pastors over the SFA Wesley Foundation) were major stepping stones in my spiritual walk.  It was in my years with them I learned that I could have a real relationship with God.  I learned he didn’t want me to formally come to him with a rehearsed prayer that meant nothing to me.  I learned I could go to God and talk to him about anything and nothing just as I would my best friend.  He only wants to hear what’s in my heart.  It was in those years I grew immensely as I fell in love with God and found friendships unlike any I’d ever had before.

I’m thankful for the experience to go back to what I consider my roots and help build stronger roots for future leaders – future warriors.  I looked across that room and saw princesses in front of me.  Maybe they never realized they were princesses before this weekend, but I do hope they know without a doubt today that they are royalty. 

I believe the world will see big things from the ladies of the SFA Wesley Foundation.  The room was filled with leaders who are each called to work at different capacities, and it’s my belief they will be the ones to step up and say, “Here am I, Lord.  Send me.” 

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If you would like to learn more about this group or see what wonderful things they’re doing, check out their website http://www.sfawesley.org/WF/Home.html

If you or your organization is interested in booking a retreat of your own, please contact me through any of my social networking sites or through email mistygatlin @ ymail .com

We were, um, very serious at all times.

We were, um, very serious at all times.