You know the feeling: butterflies partying in your stomach, odd giggles making their way out of your mouth at the most random moments, wondering why you just said what you said, strategically making your way down the hall that he walks in even if you don’t need to go that way, having trouble thinking about anything other than him. . . It’s a crush!
I know people don’t really use that word much anymore, but I think it’s sometimes appropriate. I remember having a crush on a guy my freshman year of high school. He was cute, popular, smart, and he seemed pretty nice. I could never tell him that I liked him, but some of my friends knew. One thing I learned in high school is that secrets will be shared.
Don’t you have that one person you tell things to even when you say you won’t tell anyone? Keep in mind that your friend probably has just one other friend that she tells things to, and that other friend has just one friend that she tells, and so on. What you intended to never be heard by anyone else was probably heard by several.
So, I had a friend that I told about this crush. Apparently he ended up hearing about it, but I didn’t know. Keep in mind, I had never had a boyfriend before, and I had liked him for almost a year without him knowing. He was what I thought was the perfect guy (advice of the day: there is no such thing as a perfect guy).
One day, he stopped me before I got on the bus, “Hey, can I get your number?”
Oh. My. Goodness! He just asked me for my number! That’s exactly what was going through my mind. In reality, I was fumbling for paper and a pen because he didn’t have one, and I was stumbling on my words shocked that he would ever want my number. I was the dorky girl with few friends. I didn’t even think he really noticed me. I mean, we always sat near each other in class because our last names started with the same letter. Gotta love assigned seating.
So I pretty much floated home because of what had just occurred. I waited by the phone, but it didn’t ring. The next day, I wasn’t sure if I should talk to him or what, so I just acted like it was another day. He talked to me, though. He said he lost the paper on the way home, and asked if he could get my number again. That totally made sense, so I gave him my number again.
Again, he didn’t call. Each day he said he lost my number, and at that time I didn’t see what he was doing. I just kept giving it to him thinking he had trouble keeping up with things. One day, I typed my phone number – probably to show that I had a computer since it wasn’t something common for people to have at that time. On the paper I wrote my number in a HUGE size font, and it also said something like, “don’t ask me for it again.”
I came to school prepared with it in my notebook. Just like clockwork, he asked me for my number again, and I whipped out my paper and gave it to him confident he wouldn’t ask again.
I was right. He never asked again, and he never called. He had never intended to call. He heard that I liked him, and he thought it would be funny to play a joke on me. It took me a few days to realize that’s what happened, and I was crushed.
I put so much thought into this boy and how I would respond when he called. I wanted him to think I was worthy enough for him to call me. I tried to impress him albeit in an odd way (with showing off my computer), and I dressed my absolute best for him.
Here’s the thing, though, and I’m going to turn it back to you. If you ever feel like you have to prove that you’re worthy enough to have a boy spend time with you, or if you feel like you have to dress a certain way to get his attention or do something to impress him, then he is not worth the time you’re spending even considering him. He is not the person God set aside for you, and why do you want to waste your time on anyone that wasn’t set aside especially for you?
The guy that is being groomed for you right now will notice you on your worst hair day. He will want to talk to you without you doing something extravagant to make him notice you.
It’s great to see a guy that makes you feel all those crazy feelings I mentioned earlier, but once you have to do something special to get his attention, you know you can keep walking. Don’t let your heart get crushed because it will. If he doesn’t notice you because of who you are and who you enjoy being, then your heart will eventually get crushed in some way if you try to form a relationship with him.
If you follow this one simple rule, you’ll save yourself from a lot of heartache in the long run.
In my book, Perfect You: Realizing Your Perfection in an Imperfect World, there is a chapter about dating. I was desperately trying to come up with an analogy that girls and women of all ages could relate to, and God gave me . . . SHOES! We all understand shoes no matter what age we are. My 2 year old is a shoe lover, and even my mom can relate to finding the right shoe, so it worked perfectly.
My article, Guys & Shoes, was published in the January/February issue of Susie Magazine. Susie Magazine is a Christian magazine for teen girls. If you haven’t heard of it, you might want to check it out. They have a great website community that coincides with the magazine, and my article was one of 3 featured online. So click the picture and check it out!