This topic has been on my mind for a while lately, but I’ve wondered if my readers would be the least bit interested. I mean, the majority of you are in your teens and twenties, so why would you want to know what happens in the mind of your teacher? Then, I heard God reminding me that his perspective is bigger than mine.
I began teaching in 2002 and have taught 8th-12th graders. People look at me with pity when I tell them I teach teens. It’s funny because that’s the same way I look at elementary teachers. I love what I do, and I love the ages I get to work with everyday.
Confession #1
I enjoy being known as the hard teacher. Yes I said it. I know I have past students who will read this and know exactly what I’m talking about. That first day of school when we go over my expectations and repeat a million times Permítame ir al baño, I see the fear in my students’ eyes, and I continue on. I look past all of the versions of that question (my favorite and most common is Pear-mee-tah-may ira albino). I smile every time I think of a student saying it that way because, believe it or not, I understand. I was there once. I was scared, and I never wanted to speak out loud.
It’s not that I want my students to think I’m mean, and it’s definitely not the fear in their eyes that drive me to do what I do. It’s because every first day of school I see that fear in so many of their eyes, and I know what’s about to happen to them in the upcoming months. I know that they are going to be successful in my class, and their confidence is going to be boosted, which will seep into their outside lives even if just a little. I know that I will get to be the person who sees their eyes light up when they finally get a concept they’ve been working on for what seems like forever to them. That’s one of the most exciting moments for me as a teacher!
I enjoy being known as the hard teacher because, even though I’ve had administrators tell me my expectations are too high, I know that my students can and will rise to meet those high expectations. It only seems hard to them at first because we’ve become a world where expectations are lowered and concepts are “dumbed down” because someone higher up doesn’t believe students are capable of working with the intelligence God gave them. I think the problem really is that those in control don’t want to work harder to get every student to a successful place. It is hard, and it is time consuming. I’ve had moments where I wanted to just pass everybody so I didn’t have to stay and tutor or grade more thoroughly, but how does that benefit the student? What’s the purpose of my job if that’s what I do?
I enjoy being known as the hard teacher because that means I’m actually challenging my students, and I can assure you that when my students enter their next Spanish class, they are grateful to me. I know this because I’m told every year.
All students – all people in general – need to know someone believes in them. They need to know they are capable. At the same time, they don’t need pressure of making all As because everyone has a subject in school that just doesn’t click with them. Instead, students need high expectations set and someone with a watchful eye that sees they are working as hard as they can who also showers them with praise for all of their hard work. As a teacher, I have the ability to make a C feel like an A. If my student worked to the best of her ability to average a C in my class, then she absolutely met my high expectations. She doesn’t need a 100 in my class to prove that she did what I expected.
By the way—the word “can’t” is not allowed in my class. All of my students absolutely can be successful. They all reach it at different times, but they can and will be successful as long as they put forth effort.
Confession #2
I love my students. If you know me, or if you’ve sat in my classroom at some point in your life, you know this is absolutely true. While I love all of my students, each year a select few find their way into the depths of my heart. They’re usually the ones other teachers gave up on a long time ago – the troublemakers, but somehow I find a connection with them. God has blessed me with the privilege of seeing lives change before my very eyes. It makes me wonder how anyone can question if God is real because of the unexplainably drastic transitions I’ve seen.
One year, I had a boy who I still hear from on occasion (7 years later). He was “the troublemaker,” and that’s with a capital T. I knew he was going to be a handful when I had to get on to him the first day of school—actually I had to get on to him before his body was even fully in the room! I started hearing other teachers complain about his behavior and attitude. He had detention with me one day, and he happened to be the only one in there, so we talked during his detention time. What did we talk about? Manicotti. Yes, that’s the only thing I remember of the conversation. I don’t know why we talked about it, but I remember telling him that my husband likes when I make it. Something about me saying that made me real to him. I was a teacher talking to him like an equal. His eyes were opened, and for the first time he saw me as a person and not simply his teacher. That was the day he changed.
He helped with after school activities, he changed his attitude in my class, he attended school every day, and one day he came to me crying about something that happened in football, and he wanted to quit. We had a lengthy conversation about life, and how we will always run into a boss or authority figure who, for no reason, will be downright mean to us. We talked about how to push through those times and not allow them to force us out of the things we love doing. He chose not to quit football and continued to play on into high school. He wrote me a note thanking me for that talk and for all the other things throughout the year that had meant so much to him (bottom right).
I live for these times. I live for these notes, and I tend to get them every year. What’s cool is that I don’t even do anything special. I’ve just treated these students as anyone else. There is no such thing as a “bad kid,” and I don’t allow myself to take in stories from their previous teachers. They come into my class with me being fully aware of their potential and knowing they are all great kids.
I’m no better than they are. Yes, I’m their authority, and they show me respect, but I never have to demand it from them. I never have to ask for a letter of apology when they do mess up. They just feel the need to write one or verbally apologize (even if what they did had nothing to do with me). I keep every one of those notes. I read them often, and I remember those students that touched my heart permanently.
I’ve been told before by my supervisors that I’m not compassionate. I’ve also been told that I care more about other things than I do my students, and boy have those words cut like a knife. I’ve found myself growing each time I hear words like this being used to describe me. I’ve been defensive, confrontational, hurt deeply, and . . . well I don’t know what you would call what I’ve grown into. If a colleague or administrator were to describe me in this light now, I would simply brush it off. I know it’s not true, and most importantly, my students could never be convinced of any truth in these words because they know better. They know I am incredibly compassionate and love them dearly.
Confession #3
I pray for my students. It used to be that I got to school early (before becoming a mom), and I walked down the aisles and prayed over every desk naming each student who sat in that desk by name. I prayed for peace in my classroom and respect and safety. I prayed many things over each student every day, and they never knew.
I became a mom, and making it to school on time was (is) difficult enough, so I stopped going early. Instead, I prayed on the way to school. I prayed over every student calling them out by name while I was driving down the road.
Now, I fill my journal with prayers for students God lays on my heart. I pray for them at random times. Sometimes it’s during class, sometimes at home, sometimes in the middle of church. . . I pray for them, and I cry for them.
Just a month ago I found myself crying while talking to my husband about a student who my heart has been desperately trying to reach. I’ve never cried to this extent for a student, but I couldn’t control the tears.
I know God hears my prayers. Sometimes it’s hard for me understand why certain things are happening, but I know his perspective is far greater than mine. I know he placed me here, and I know he has placed specific students in my class. For what reason, I may never know. I don’t question it. I just go and be here for them hopefully as much as they need me to be.
To the Students
I hope this gives you a little insight, and I pray you think about your teachers’ intentions before completely shutting them out. No, not all teachers are the same, but you never know why they do what they do. Also remember that just like you have things going on in your life that can affect your work and behavior at school, you never know what’s going on in the life of your teacher. It may sometimes be difficult for her to pull herself together and get to school to teach you and help you with problems all while appearing that everything is right in her life.
If you have a teacher who has made a difference somehow in your life, I encourage you to let him or her know. More than any gift card, candy, or Christmas ornament, hearing from students that they have somehow touched their lives is one of the best gifts a teacher could ever get. The gift cards and candy are long gone, but the letters I’ve received from my students in the past 10 years are all together in a folder where I can read them any time I want.
Those students are so blessed. I commend you for setting the bar high.
Thank you so much. Honestly, I feel like I’m just as blessed if not more to have the privilege of teaching them. I learn from them as much as they learn from me. There’s nothing like working in a career that God has chosen for me. I can’t imagine it being any other way.
Misty, Mamma G, Mrs. Gatlin, you are one of the greatest teachers still to this day. It’s been years and I’ve been through many of teachers and professors since I’ve had your class, but still I could not compare any of them to you! I want to thank you so much for everything you’ve done for you current and past students, I know we all greatly appreciate it!
Awww, Hanna, you are so sweet, and I can still see your smile! It’s funny because you know what I remember first when I think about you? I remember you coming and staying with me at the craft fair that one year and making bead bracelets–and I think you even sold some if I’m not mistaken. I enjoyed spending time with you and getting to know you. I think you are such a beautiful young lady, and I’m so blessed to have gotten the opportunity to teach you.
Haha! I still have that shirt you made me for the craft fair! It seems like so long ago. Thank you so much! I really did enjoy you and your Spanish I class!
Even to this day of me being a college student, because I met you in middle school, I can not call you Misty, only Mrs. Gatlin because I have so much respect for you. Even though I was never in your class, I was always in your classroom.. almost everyday. I just want to tell you it was not just because my mom was friends with you, but because I felt so comfortable with you and you are REAL. You go over and beyond the duty of being a middle school teacher and get do not treat anyone like they are less. I respect you on so many levels and I just want to say, even though everyone in middle school said you were the “hard teacher” I would always say to those kids “No, she’s the teacher who cares”. And I thank you, you have made a great impact in my life in how your an example of how to show Gods love to everyone
OKay, you’re going to make me cry.
I look at you and am in awe of the person you’ve become. I can’t believe you’re the same little 5th grader who used to come from across the street to hang out until time for us teachers to leave. I know your parents are incredibly proud of you as am I. I enjoy watching you lead other girls now, and I can’t wait to see where God takes you next.
WOW, Just when I thought I was alone. I have the priviledge to read this. I love teaching Spanish to my High Schoolers also. There is a certain pride I get when they are able to say their first complete sentence without a prompt. When I see that they are having a conversation in class because mean Senora T rule are if you want to talk the first five minutes in class it has to be in Spanish. My favorite is when I get a Spanish 3 or Ap Spanish Student run to me and say , Senora tuve un sueno todo en espanol It like seeing one of my sons take their first ssteps, ride a bike and learn how to drive a car. Your so proud of them and know that their journey has just begun. We stand back y le echamos miles de bendiciones. Gracias por tu palabras bellas. Que Diosito sigue alumbrandote tu camino.
Gracias para tus palabras tambièn. I remember in college when all my dreams were in Spanish. I haven’t had the privilege of my students telling me they’ve had dreams in Spanish, but I can imagine that would make my day! Thank you for taking time to read the post.
Thanks for your words of wisdom. I happen to love my Spanish teacher also. Recently i’ve been toying with the idea of whether to be a Spanish teacher, but I feel my Spanish isn’t good enough. (Although my Spanish teacher tells me differently) When you said you used to be scared to speak in Spanish it gave me a sliver of hope.
Because you challenge me to use my Christian voice both in the classroom and out I have nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.
To accept this award check out my page for more information at the following link
http://ourcrowdedheart.wordpress.com/2012/07/11/bloggers-inspiring-heart-award/
I am currently in college studying to become a High School Spanish Teacher or ESL Teacher, and I very much enjoyed reading this article. I am a Christian also and this touched my heart when I read this. It just makes me want to persue teaching even more now!
Go for it! If it’s you’re calling, there’s nothing in the world like it. It’s a ministry in itself.
[...] You might also enjoy Confessions of a High School Spanish Teacher [...]
Ms. Gatlin,
I’m currently thinking of becoming a Spanish teacher, as it was my major in college. What advice do you have as far as taking the Praxis test and then applying to a district? Were any of your interviews in Spanish? Did you feel as if you would ever make errors in speaking while standing in front of the classroom?
I think different states require different testing. I’ve never heard of a Praxis test, so I can’t give any advice on it. I had to take 2 tests for Spanish, and they were both very difficult for me. I knew I would make mistakes in the classroom, and I do make them just as any teacher of any subject makes mistakes in the classroom. Don’t stress over things like that. Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s when a person pretends they don’t make mistakes that they lose their students. Just own it and laugh it off. It will help the students feel more comfortable because they are nervous about the same things. They don’t want to make mistakes, but when they see their teacher making a mistaking, owning it, and laughing it off, they gain a little confidence.
I do believe I had 1 interview in Spanish, but I don’t remember much from it. If you feel like teaching Spanish is what you’re called to do then do it. If you only want to do it because it’s your major, though, I urge you to think a little more about it. Teaching is not like other career choices. It’s something you have to truly love and know you’re meant to be there. It’s not the job you just go to and clock in and out and do what it takes to get through the day. You must be teacher, counselor, mom, sister, aunt, friend. . .. to those students. Make sure it’s what you want, and if it is then don’t let fear get in the way. You can do it! If it’s something you know you want then you’ll be great!
[...] BLOG: Confessions of a High School Spanish Teacher [...]
I’m studying Spanish and secondary education to become a Spanish teacher, and just reading about you praying over your students desks made me just cry as I’m in the middle of my college cafeteria. I relate to that because I’ve invisioned myself doing the same. Isn’t it so amazing what God can do?! You are inspiring. God bless you
You too are an inspiration. Keep it up and love on those students. That’s one of the most important things you can do.
I love how I just randomly found this blog while originally looking online for good materials to use for teaching Spanish to high school students for the summer. You are so inspirational and now I’m less nervous about teaching high school students. I’m a graduate student in Spanish at SFSU and loved teaching university students so now I’m taking a shot at teaching high school students just for the summer. It was a blast teaching university students and I know I made such a difference to them because they told me so. I can make a difference to anyone!
I’m so glad it encouraged you. You’ll be great! I’m not sure which school is SFSU, but it caught my attention because I went to SFASU! I think whatever age one teaches, it’s a true calling. I look at those who teach elementary and can only think, “God bless you.” No way could I do that, and the thought of it stresses me out. However, those who teach elementary look at me the same way. If you enjoyed teaching at the university level, then you’ll feel the same about your high school students.
You can certainly make a difference in the lives of your students! Just remember you may not always get the opportunity to see it, and sometimes you may get to see it but years down the road. There’s so much advice I could give, but I want to give you this piece of advice: Keep EVERYTHING your students write to you, and they will! I cherish my folder with notes and cards from students. I print out emails from students and parents (parents mostly). If they were to give me something special — more than a gift card — I would suggest taking a picture of it, with the student in the picture if possible, and keep it. They will become some of the your most prized possessions over the years.
Hola Misty,
Sorry this is a little late. I’m writing a 15 page academic paper in Spanish for school (SFSU) San Francisco State University. I actually really want to get this paper published in a literary magazine as I’m very excited about what I’m writing about! I’m comparing 3 novels so it’s quite an adventure.
I’m also preparing to talk to middle school and high school students soon who are enrolled in Spanish classes about fundraising to be able to have their own customized Costa Rican study abroad trip this summer. They can sell Costa Rican coffee and that will pay for their study abroad trip of 2-4 weeks this summer. I’m so ready to talk to them and inspire the heck out of them to learn more Spanish and get immersed into the country I lived in and had my first taste of what it really means to connect with a different culture and start speaking the language I learned with Spanish-speaking natives. It’s sooo exciting! I love Costa Rica and Spain (where I also lived) with all of my heart.
Anyways, thanks so much for all of your words. I will keep everything! Also, I so know what you mean about that you won’t always get to see the difference in students. I think I really get that because I have those professors who still make a difference to me on a regular basis and they aren’t really in my life anymore. But most of the time I make sure to always tell a professor when they make a difference to me since I believe that that is really important to do that in life. The only reason I decided to get my MA in Spanish at SFSU was because of about 3 professors in Spain who really made a difference to me and commented on how awesome I was in Spanish, literature and also about my ability to have an awesome Spanish accent. LOL! It’s not essential to have a good accent, but I certainly enjoy it. I love that I’m even able to fake people out who are even from Spain. People literally think I’m from Madrid when I speak Spanish! So fun!
Anyhow, looking forward to keeping in contact!
Kelly =)